Movie Reviews: Formula Fun, This Means War Plays Like a Drawn ...

Location

Wide Release

Dates

Opens Feb 17

It?s been 12 years since McG (Charlie?s Angels, We Are Marshall) switched from directing four-minute music videos to two-hour feature films. It wouldn?t be a stretch, though, to say he never made the transition.

McG?s latest film, This Means War, is a flashy, colorful two-hour romp, one that could easily be deduced to a four-minute spot on whatever channel still plays music videos.

Here?s the gist. Hot woman can?t find love, so her friend signs her up for online dating. Two best friends ? CIA agents, of course ? end up dating her, then competing for her love. Now wouldn?t that be a nice backdrop to an Offspring song?

Obviously this is a bit reductivist, but there?s no real other way to put it. This Means War is a perfectly mindless film, one that neither takes itself too seriously nor recognizes that inherent silliness.

Lauren (played by Reese Witherspoon) is the successful head of a product testing facility who simply can?t find time for love. In a series of increasingly implausible scenarios, the one where a character played by Reese Witherspoon can?t find love may be the hardest to believe. Her friend Trish (Chelsea Handler, in the ?we need to find someone that?s willing to get drunk on a playground, and also talk about camel toe? role) signs her up for an online-dating site, officially making Lauren the most eligible person to ever use online dating.

There she finds Tuck (Thomas Hardy), a muscular CIA agent who would clearly have trouble finding a partner in day-to-day life as well. During Implausible Scenario Two, Lauren runs into Tuck?s best friend FDR (Chris Pine) in a video rental store, and soon begins dating them both.

In an effort to keep men from gouging out their eyes and ears when Witherspoon isn?t on the screen, Tuck and FDR kick a decent amount of ass as CIA agents, then use their training to creepily spy on Lauren, and each other.

The term ?sex-off? is bandied about, and eventually Lauren picks one of the two to live happily ever after with, though it?s never exactly clear why she picks one suitor over the other. By the end of the film, she?s just?with one of the guys.

This Means War follows McG?s Charlie?s Angels blueprint: get some hot chicks, make them occasionally jump around in just underwear, then blow something up. He doesn?t worry about the plot, or expect the viewer to care. Plot, to McG, is just something that gets in the way of explosions and Witherspoon in white panties.

The film isn?t a complete disaster ? the line ?Do you think Gloria Steinem got arrested and sat in a jail cell so you can act like a little bitch?? comes to mind ? but is little more than romantic fodder for a production company to trod out during Valentine?s Day week.

Source: http://frontrow.dmagazine.com/2012/02/movie-reviews-formula-fun-this-means-war-plays-like-a-drawn-out-music-video/

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